Is it all worth it?

An issue that has been on my mind constantly is, is all of this worth it?  Let me elaborate on my ponderings...

My weekly routine consists of the following: working 32 hours (28 of these hours on the weekend, 3rd shift), studying, reading for classes, sleeping, and trying to keep on top of everything else like bills, laundry, cooking somewhat healthy meals, grocery shopping, and cleaning.  A majority of my time is spent either studying, reading for class, or going to class.  If I am doing anything else but that I feel completely guilty that I'm not trying to better myself as a nursing student.  I unfortunately need to be a perfectionist, a habit that I'm trying to so hard to break, in and out of the classroom.  I like to get perfect or near perfect scores on my exams, quizzes, homework assignments, and skills tests and if the end results aren't what I expect then I get really disappointed in myself.  The same perfectionist attitude can be said about my house too.  I love to have a neat, clean, and orderly household, this trait I got from my father.  Before I started nursing school, I probably cleaned my house almost every other day because I didn't want anything looking dirty, covered in cat or dog hair, or have trash or various things setting out around the house, etc.  I also was able to cook and bake a lot more than I am able to now.  I would love making things from scratch and trying out new recipies every week, but that has since changed since school started.  I spent more time with my family and friends and doing things that I enjoyed just because I had extra time to do them.

Since nursing school has begun, I see my friends and family less, my house looks like a dozen small children ran threw it and destroyed everything, I don't have time to cook and bake, most of our meals are quick fixes and are typically repeated from week to week.  I believe one week Ben and I ate out for dinner almost every night.  Not only does that effect our wallets, but it also made us feel slugish, sick, and just down right disgusting.  I don't have time to workout.  I'm not able to take the dog for a walk like I want to, or even play in the back yard with her as long as I would like.  The laundry is two hampers full, but thanks to my mother has since disappeared.  How freaking pathetic is it that my mother had to come take my laundry because we were running out of things to wear, and I couldn't find the extra time to get it done?  I hardly get to spend quality time with my husband.  We made a conscience effort to have date night at least once a week, but we barely see each other with his work schedule, working overtime, our sleep schedules so we can at least attempt to get more than 5 hours of sleep daily.  Basically what it boils down to is I get no time to do the things that I want to do or enjoy.  No time for casual reading, watching movies, working out, geocaching, playing with the pets, seeing my husband, spending time with family.  None.  Zero.  Zip.

Most days I wonder is all that I'm giving up going to be worth me being a nurse?  I freaking hope so.

I'm sure these thoughts come off as being whiney or complaining, and I know some people are busier and have it a lot worse than I, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

Check your hands

On Monday morning when my husband got home from work he said "why don't we just leave Ohio for vacation, like right now!"  I was just standing there in complete shock because I had spent the previous evening looking at different local attractions and activities that we could do on our "staycation."  Lucky for us my mom was on standby to watch our pooch, but we cleaned, mowed, packed, and booked our hotel in under an hour!

It only took 8 hours to drive there, so I decided to drive at least half of the trip since Ben hadn't had a chance to sleep yet.  As he was sleeping I notice that he had one of his hands down in his pants.  At first I was like what the heck is he doing, but then I realized that I've seen him do that before.  He isn't the first guy I've known to do it either.  I thought to myself for a second or two and wondered why do guys put their hands down their pants?  Are they keeping their hands and fingers warm?  Are they checking to make sure that everything is intact during their sleep?  With that in mind as soon as Ben woke up I asked him what the point was of such behavior?  He told me that it just keeps everything in line when he is sleeping so he can sleep better.  I guess I was a little disappointed with his answer, but it also makes sense.  If there are any ladies out there who have noticed such behavior with their guys, please fill me in on the answer that they give you.  If there happen to be any guys who read this blog, I'm definitely interested to see what you have to say.

Here are a couple of pictures from our awesome trip!

Hiatus

As you can tell, I've taken a 10 week break from blogging, which can be explained by two simple words NURSING SCHOOL.  I'm going into my final week of class and clinical and I couldn't be happier.  Although I've learned quite a lot in my first quarter of Nursing, I'm ready for a less stressed schedule.  This summer I'm taking only one class, Physiology, at Columbus State, so I'll only have to drive 15 minutes compared to an hour and 10 minutes one way 3 times a week!

There are a lot of things going on with Ben.  For those of you who don't know, Ben has been going to the chiropractor for a little less than a year due to low back pain.  He injured his back a few years ago doing weightlifting and playing sports.  He also wears a 10 pound vest and about 15-20 pounds around his waist, so that isn't helping relieve any type of pain by any means.  The chiropractor ordered him get an MRI and we found out that he herniated  his L5 and S1 vertebrae.  We decided that his best plan of care was to try decompression therapy for 6 weeks and go from there.  Well the pain wasn't getting any better, it actually got worse, way worse.  One morning Ben wasn't able to get out of bed, dress himself, or anything of that nature, so we figured it was time to see a pain management doctor about getting some type of pain medicine that could help relieve any pain.  Ben got put on a higher dose of Ibuprofen, which was great because taking 10 of them a day isn't such a great idea, plus I'm pretty sure his liver was totally hating on him.  However, the doctor said that he was going to refer Ben to see an orthopedic surgeon to see what our other options were: surgery or physical therapy.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go with him to this appointment because I had an exam, but my awesome mother went and the doctor told Ben that he was way to young to have surgery and that physical therapy was the best option.  Let me tell you I've never heard my husband sound like such a giddy school girl than I did when he called me.  His appointment with the surgeon was 2 weeks ago, he still hasn't called to schedule any type of therapy, so if any of you have his phone number and would like to send him a friendly reminder to schedule his appointment, go right ahead!  Since we've had a bunch of rain Ben had to delay his fence project for the backyard, so he decided to put up a back splash behind the sick and paint the kitchen green.  Since we've finally had some sunny days Ben is finishing up the fence for the backyard!  It is coming along quite well and should be complete in the next week!

Remi continues to have her separation anxiety problem, sigh.  We haven't been able to dedicate the time like we want to to fix her little problem, but I'm hoping with my summer schedule that will change.  Other than that, Remi is doing great, oh and Izzy too!

On a side note the background for the blog is (obviously) for breast cancer awareness.  Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer in women.  Breast cancer is something that is very important to me.  My grandmother had breast cancer while I was growing up and she unfortunately had to get a mastectomy.  Ladies, I URGE you to do a self breast exam every month!  If you would like to help end the fight of breast cancer, please feel free to donate to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure at www.komen.org. Big or small, we must save them all!

Well that's all that is going on with us for right now! Until the next time....

Separation Anxiety

Since Sydney and Byrdey have left our house, Remi has been showing signs of separation anxiety.  Within 5 minutes of leaving her in her kennel Remi will tinkle.  I did some research online because behavior like this isn't typical for any dog and we don't want our puppy continuing on with this bad habit.  Here are some tips that we found that can help retrain our poochie:

• You need to teach your dog to be more independent
• You should allow your dog to shadow you around the home
• Never give your attention when she demands it! Only give her attention when she has stopped demanding it or when you want too. This will help for when she is anxious when she is left alone, and not able to receive attention
• When you leave your dog, it must be kept low key to stop your dog from getting anxious
• When you return home you keep it low key. If you give her any attention when she is excited you will only be reinforcing her excitement & the motivation behind it (the separation problem)
• Don’t ‘say bye’ to your dog when you are leaving the house.  Your dog will understand your bye as I am leaving you alone now and she will start to become anxious
• Make sure you exercise your dog before leaving her for long periods of time; this will help to tire her out. Also playing games with her an hour before leaving will help.
• You need to leave interesting toys & chews for your dog to play with. Use toys that you can hide tasty food in the toy. This will help to stimulated your dog and stop him from getting bored & frustrated. Try hiding the dog in the crate, so she has to find the toy as well.
• You need to teach your dog to be alone. A great way to do this is by separating her into a different room, when you are at home.  Start off with a couple of minutes and then gradually increasing the time over a few weeks, until you can leave her in a different room and she is happy being left.
• Keep using the dog crate, this willl provide security for your dog.  The reason why she is toileting is it is her way off dealing with the stress off being left by herself. Never lock your dog in the crate, this can cause the dog more stress. Keep the door open, try putting an item of yours in the crate. This will help to provide comfort for your dog when left alone!
• You also need to start leaving her in the house for a few minutes, then return. Start off with a couple of minute’s and then gradually increasing the time over a few weeks, until you can leave her and she is happy being left. This will help build her confidence up with being left alone & you will return.

We've been trying this routine for almost a week now, and we've already seen a couple of improvements.  This is defintely going to be a slow and long process, but it will be worth it to have a happy and less anxious pooch!

THE CULPRIT



Updates galore!

Here is just a quick post about the ins and outs of the Cochran household at the moment:

• Ben is now officially working 3rd shift downtown and loving it!  It has taken him some time to get use to working 3rds again and sleeping during the day.  We really need to "3rd shift" proof our bedroom and get some dark curtains up to keep the sunshine out!  In 2 weeks I will be working 3rds as well to accommodate my school schedule.
• The number of pets in our household has decreased.  Ben and I decided between work and nursing school, we couldn't share our love with our pets the way we wanted to and that they deserved to be with people who could.  Byrdey is now living with Kendra, Ben's massage therapist, who also has another Weim, Jay.  Jay and Byrdey are getting along great!  They enjoy snuggling, napping, and playing together.  Sydney is permanently residing with my mom and step dad.  Our family dog passed away last year and my parents were finally ready for a dog and loved Sydney from the first second they met her.  She now is spoiled on a daily basis with walks, treats, and ball throwing.  Remi and Izzy still live in the Cochran house.  In a few weeks Remi will be turning a year old.  She is getting geared up for Spring so she can continue her bird training with Ben.
• Ben and I are the new owners of a cute Mini Cooper.  With gas prices continuing to rise, we wanted to get another vehicle that was great on gas mileage for our daily trips to work and school.

I'm sure we will continue to be busy over the next few weeks as we adjust to new schedules.  I'm hoping that I'll be a little bit better about making posts to the blog!  Until next time....

Back In Action

The Cochran's are officially back in action after our awesome vacation!  We arrived to sunny Bradenton, Florida around noonish on Saturday after spending 16 long hours in the car. We spent a majority of our week going to the beach or pool, eating, playing cards, eating, putt-putting, eating, relaxing, and did I mention eating?  Ben and I both really like seafood, so we were more than happy to indulge ourselves with any type of fresh seafood that we could get our hands on!  We ate dinner with my dad and step mom, who also happened to be vacationing in Florida, at our favorite restaurant, The Sandbar.  If anyone is passing through the Anna Maria Island area I highly recommend making a stop at The Sandbar, they have the tastiest food!  Enough about all of the wonderful food we got to eat (by the way, the Cochran's are going on a diet starting this week after all our gluttony), lets move on to some pictures (insert Hallelujah chorus here that I actually took pictures!)  We ventured to Anna Maria Island a couple of times before I finally remembered to bring my camera, so here are some of the pictures.  I'll post more when I get them from my step mom.

I especially enjoy this picture due to the fact that most city halls don't have such a colorful sign!

This is the Magnolia Inn.  It's a mom and pop hotel that my Uncle John and Aunt Sarah use to own right in downtown Anna Maria Island.

Here is a side view picture of the hotel rooms.

Me & my love

"I got my toes in the water, toes in the sand" --Zac Brown Band

Florida

I only find it fitting that while composing this blog post I listen to the Beach Boys because the Cochran's are heading to Florida this Friday and I'm getting myself pumped for the occasion.  Ben's grandmother travels to Florida during the lovely, cold, winter months of Ohio and has invited us to come visit.  We'll be driving the 18 hours it takes to get Bradenton, Florida for a short 5 day stay.  Unfortunately, our trip has been cut short because I have a mandatory meeting for nursing school.  However, we couldn't be more excited to escape this ugly weather and get some sunshine.  I'm bringing my camera with me and hoping to take some pictures, but we'll see because as my mother can attest to this, we are horrible about remembering to take pictures on such occasions.

In the words of Sheryl Crow, "I'm gonna soak up the sun..."

A Police Officer's Wife

When I was in college I told my parents that I could never be married to a man who was either in the armed forces, a doctor, or a police officer.  Little did I know that I would be eating my own words.  Since we started dating, we didn't exactly get to have the "normal" dating life.  At the time, my husband was working 3rd shift and had Sundays and Mondays off so we would spend most of our time cooking dinner together and hanging out around his house or my apartment before he had to go into work.  Now my husband enjoys working a lot, a quality that I might add I love and adore so dearly, however he was working ridiculous amounts of overtime.  He would pull a double and work on his days off on a regular basis.  He soon became like a zombie to me.  When he switched departments he was given 2nd shift with Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.  His current employer only allows officers to work 4 hours of overtime per day unless its special duty and officers aren't allowed to work on their days off.  I was glad to find this out because he would be able to get into a regular routine.

Since we found out that I would be going to nursing school, my husband has really stepped up to the plate and has so willing worked overtime 3 out of the 5 days per week.  Most days it doesn't bother me because it's normally during the week and I'm already asleep since I work 1st shift.  However, sometimes when he works overtime on Friday or Saturday night, I get a little ticked off because that's my time to spend with him.  I feel really selfish for saying that, but he is my husband and I want to spend every moment with him that I can.  I would rather have him at home with me instead of being with the inmates who don't deserve anything especially my husbands time away from me.  I feel like this feeling is a weekly or bi-weekly struggle for me.  Most days I can except eating dinner, going to family functions, or doing all the chores by myself, but sometimes I hate "the job" for making my husband absent in those things.  I know that I am welcomed to eat dinner or do things with family and friends, but I feel like a burden because they have their own lives and don't need me tagging along.

I was browsing online for anything that could be helpful for me and I found this:

Dear Lord, please give my husband courage and wisdom~

Be his eyes and ears and guide his steps throughout this day~

And most of all send your angels to protect him and keep him

sympathetic and kind in your ever loving way~

I'm asking you for your blessing for my husband

as he proudly serves you and his fellow man~

And when he feels as though he's failed,

I ask you to help him understand~

May he be a brother to all police officers,

an example to his peers~

Keep him free from harassment's

and protect him from all fears~

May he know through my prayer

that I love him and he is my life~

And whatever he has chosen to do or be,

I'm proud to be his wife~~

1992 Patty Temple

Great news!

I received some excellent news last week! I'll be attending nursing school next month at Ohio University in Chillicothe.  Over the past few months I've been turning in all of the necessary papers and even took a pre-assessment exam at the end of November and it all paid off.  Since I've completed all of the support courses, I just need to finish my nursing classes and clinicals and in 2 years, I'll be able to sit in on the NCLEX-RN exam and if I pass, I can become an RN.

When I graduated from high school I was torn between staying at home and attending nursing school at the Mount Carmel College of Nursing or go to Ohio University in Athens and major in something in the healthcare field.  While I am happy about all 4 years spent at school in Athens, I sometimes wished that I would have gone to nursing school, but I figured that I would be able to just move on and get my Masters in Public Health, however that wasn't the case.

On April 28, 2009, my grandfather was involved in a very serious car accident.  He was life flighted from Berger Hospital to OSU Medical Center (at the time I was just hired as a new employee to the admissions department) and came in to the ER as a "trauma" patient.  Little did I know that all of this was occurring right under my nose until my mother called me as I was leaving work.  She had told me what happened and that the entire family was waiting in the ICU.  When we finally spoke to the doctor, he said that most people don't survive from car accidents that my grandpa was in and that it was going to be a long road to recovery and boy was he right.  After a halo, 2 surgeries on his cervical vertebrae, tracheotomy, 4 weeks in ICU and one emotional roller coaster, my grandpa was finally ready for his 2 week rehab program at Dodd Hall.  During those weeks, I was able to help my grandpa with whatever he needed, whether it was moving his pillows to make him more comfortable, help get rid the fluid in his trach, or just talk to him during my lunch breaks.  It was then that I realized where my true passion lies and I would be unhappy if I couldn't obtain it.

When I walk thorough the floors of the Medical Center, sometimes I'll see the various nurses that my grandpa had during his stay and I smile because I know how well they took care of him and how supportive and caring they were to my family, especially my grandma.  I can only hope that one day I'll be able to have the same impact on a family.

Procrastinator

I noticed that I haven't posted anything on our blog since last May.  I think with the wedding, the blog became something that I put off to the side among other things.  A lot has happend in the last few months that I need catch up on.  So, my next few posts will be updates on the things that have been happening with the Cochrans!